What do you honestly think of the chapter? 10 pts for helpful and truthful?

I have to be honest, your story needs more description in it. Within a few sentances you have already gone through two hours of the day. When someone is reading your story, you want to give the reader a lot of description so they feels as if they are actually in the story. I like the idea of introducing the 'love interest' into the story in the first few paragraphs. Your story needs some work, but it's got good bones. Keep up the good work!